Dave Isay and the Power of Story

I had the pleasure of meeting Dave Isay, Founder of StoryCorps, in Austin at a book signing in 2007, shortly after he released his book, Listening Is an Act of Love – A Celebration of American Life from the StoryCorps Project. There are two people I look up to in admiration for demonstrating the utilization of their talents: one is Steven Spielberg; the other is Dave Isay. Like most of you, I knew of Steven Spielberg and his work back then. I knew little of Dave Isay.

TED Prize Winner Dave Isay speaks at TED2015.

Rather than trying to describe who Dave Isay is and what he has accomplished, this TED Talk will explain it beautifully: https://tinyurl.com/y9f9tegb. He really gets the power of story…and has created a platform for proving it. In the process, he has also created a mindset regarding the importance of story. Yet, most people will never record their stories or those of their loved ones.

I hope to change that with the work I do at LifeStories Alive https://lifestoriesalive.com. If you are not moved to go out and record the stories of a loved one by Dave Isay’s TED Talk, I have two suggestions:

  1. Hire a professional to do it for you. I can help with that. How would Dave Isay’s story be different if he hadn’t thought to record his father’s stories before he died? You might be saying to yourself, “Yea, but Dave is a professional at gathering stories.” You’re right. He is. But using that as an excuse for not recording the stories of your own parents does not eliminate the risk of burying their stories with them when they die. You must act now. That leads me to my second suggestion.
  2.  If you don’t want to hire a professional to do it for you, but don’t know where to begin to do it yourself, buy the book I authored and released a few weeks ago, A Conversation You’ll Never Forget – A Guide to Capturing a LifeStory https://tinyurl.com/ConversationYoullNeverForget. In it, you’ll learn a step-by-step process to do it yourself.

StoryCorps and the work Dave Isay has done over the years is remarkable. Imagine, however, if each of those 100,000 stories was captured on video instead of just audio. Not only would you hear the voices, but the voices would come alive as you saw the mannerisms and felt the emotion of the people telling the stories. That’s why I encourage you to capture the stories on video.

Dave Isay taught you the power of story in the video above. Now it’s up to you. Keep those LifeStories alive. It will be a conversation you’ll never forget!

 

Why Do We Tell Stories?

As one who helps people tell their stories (on video), I particularly enjoyed this week’s episode of KUT Radio’s “Two Guys on Your Head” with Dr. Art Markman​ and Dr. Bob Duke.  “We need stories in order to make sense of things” is one of the things they explain. Please listen & enjoy! http://kut.org/post/why-do-we-tell-stories

One of their points is that stories help us connect and make sense of the many bits of information in our brains. This is nothing new and most people agree with it (as I do). But if this is widely accepted as fact, then why are so many people hesitant to tell the stories of their own lives?

I have always thought the main reason is that our society teaches us that if we talk about ourselves, we are bragging…and that’s a very bad thing to do! Yet, we learn so much from the stories of others. Valuable life lessons are learned often from strangers who are not related or whom we previously didn’t care much about. In my work at LifeStories Alive, I have had my clients (usually the children of the interviewees) tell me of the exciting and valuable lessons they’ve learned from their loved ones, just by listening to their life’s stories.

So I ask for your help in answering the above question, “Why are so many people hesitant to tell the stories of their own lives?” Your ideas, thoughts and input in the Leave a Reply section below will be much appreciated.

Two Guys on Your Head

 

Kind Words Go a Long Way

Kind words can go a long way. Yesterday, I was having a “so-so” day until late in the evening when a client of mine, Spencer Hayes (name given with permission) http://www.oxfordcommercial.com/our-people/spencer-hayes/, wrote a very kind note regarding the work I did for his family. My entire attitude changed to become more uplifting and positive. Here is his note:

“LifeStories Alive partnered with my family to bring us the greatest gift we could ever have: my parents sharing their stories so that their legacy will continue for many generations.

Mike O’Krent is a uniquely gifted documentarian. But moreover he is an exemplary human being who connects with people on a deep level, and brings out of them the essence of who they are.  The ability to capture all that on video for posterity is rare, and we have been blessed as a family to own the product of his talent.”

I encourage all of you to do as I will now; share a few kind words to someone – to the next person who comes to mind. It’s not hard, won’t take long, and will make you feel good. Thanks, Spencer, for making my day!

I Thought I Would Learn About Classical Music…

I thought I would learn about classical music, but ended up learning about life. This is my conclusion after listening to yet another great TED Talk. This one is by Benjamin Zander. To prove to you how little I knew about classical music, I didn’t know who the hell Benjamin Zander is! I do now. Since 1979, Benjamin Zander has been the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic.

What impressed me most about this talk is how he used a lesson in classical music appreciation (and, by the way, I now appreciate classical music) and turned it into, at the very end, a lesson in life. I will not tell you what he says at the end. It is worth watching this all the way through. I will only tell you this: It reinforces the power of a well-told story…a well-told life story!

Please take the time to watch this: http://tinyurl.com/ntqr4 on and then let me know what you think.

Ben_Zander

Listening – Uncovering the Forgotten Communication Tool – Part I: The Basics

Most of us have heard the importance of communication in school, business and life, in general. Some of us have been taught some skills and tools to use in order to improve our use of communication. But very few, if any, have been taught the most important of all the communication skills: listening.

I have been fortunate to be trained in listening skills and, thankfully, am able to apply those skills in the work I do at LifeStories Alive. It is my pleasure to share some of the skills I have been taught and the lessons I have learned through practical application of those skills. Whether you are a businessperson, classroom teacher, or a parent working at improving communication with your loved ones, I hope you enjoy and put to use these valuable tools I share with you.

Let’s start with the basics. While these points may seem obvious, most of us need to be reminded of them so we can practice them more often.

Stop talking

That’s right. I believe it is impossible to intently listen if you are bumping your gums (a slang for talking). While some people argue that they can listen and talk at the same time, I have seen the disastrous consequences of messing this one up. You will see soon that in order to apply some of the skills of a good listener listed below, you must first shut up!

Listen with your whole body

When I first heard this concept, I thought I knew what it meant. With further study, and listening to this TED Talk by Evelyn Glennie, I have a much better idea. This concept includes important practices like maintaining eye contact, leaning forward, intently watching their body language, and listening without judging. To better imagine what this basic tool is all about, in the next conversation you have today, imagine you are severely hearing impaired. Then realize during that conversation how important it is to “listen” to everything that is happening, not just what is being said.

Don’t interrupt!

This is the hardest thing for many people to learn. I know how hard it was, and still is for me. Here are a couple of tools I have learned that help with this subject:

  1. The next sentence you say has to include at least one word from the last sentence they say. This will force you to not only listen, but to pause after they’re finished talking…because you don’t know if they are really finished talking.
  2. The next sentence you say has to include at least one word from the last sentence they say. This will force you to not only listen, but to pause after they’re finished talking…because you don’t know if they are really finished talking.
  3. Practice using pauses of different lengths after they are finished. This is especially important when dealing with different emotions. When sadness and tears are involved, people tend to pause longer between thoughts expressed. Let those long pauses happen before you say anything!

I hope these basics help you to become a better listener. Remember, it takes practice to improve, but improving your listening skills can make a huge difference in your life.