In a recently published article in Inc. magazine, author Kevin Daum wrote about 7 Things Really Persuasive People Do http://tinyurl.com/m4h2c69. Number two on the list is “They Listen … and Listen … Then Listen Some More”. What? Listen more to be more persuasive? Most people believe that those who are the most persuasive are the ones who talk the most, not listen more. One of the most valuable lessons to learn in persuasion is that it’s not about you, it’s about them! Knowing that, how will you know what’s important to them if you don’t listen to them? If the voice you are listening to is only your own, only you will be persuaded…and you don’t need that at that moment!
In the article, he addresses “…listening when in persuasion mode.” He explains what this means: “First, (people who know how to persuade) are listening to assess how receptive you are to their point of view. Second, they are listening for your specific objections, which they know they’ll have to resolve. Last, they are listening for moments of agreement so they can capitalize on consensus. Amazingly persuasive people are constantly listening to you and not themselves. They already know what they are saying. You can’t persuade effectively if you don’t know the other side of the argument.”
What Kevin Daum says above is essential to being more persuasive. But think about how being a better listener can help you in all areas of communication: with family, with friends, as well as in the workplace. In a blog I posted in March, 2012, I began to uncover the basics of the “Forgotten Communication Tool” http://tinyurl.com/7rhkyax. Applying only a few of the skills I mentioned will make you a better listener. And when you become a better listener, positive things will happen in all areas of your life … including those that require your sharpened persuasive abilities.